40 Things I've Learned in 40 Years - Part 2

When pancakes go bad.
Originally uploaded by waihey

Below are a few more observations -of the existential variety-brought on by turning forty.

11. You always mess up the first pancake. (This can also be applied to child-rearing. In a metaphorical sense, of course...)

12. Never peak early. (This works on soooooo many levels.)

13. You will become your parents, if you're not careful. (That one's for you, Ed.)

14. When someone says, "This isn't going to hurt it bit", they are usually lying.

15. We aren't our kids. And they aren't us.

16. Dammit, if bacon and whipped cream don't make EVERYTHING taste better. (Except together. Definitely, not together.)

17. Accents do not necessarily = smarter. (Hello?! Colin Farrell.)

18. Employees are always the last to know.

19. Stores with staff made up entirely of straight male are often shockingly disorganized. (I'm just saying......)

20. High heels are the devils on the feet, angels on the calves.

40 Things I've Learned in 40 Years

Portrait of an articulated skeleton on a bentwood chair
Originally uploaded by Powerhouse Museum Collection

My 40th year on the planet has brought on a lot of contemplation (and a lot of wine drinking...it took me ten tries to correctly spell "contemplation"). Some deep thoughts have emerged, some not so. I would like to share a few with you in the coming weeks:

1/ It's okay to be wrong.

2/ Despite what you will be promised, you can never wear that bridesmaid dress. Never.

3/ If you need your glasses to read then wear them.

4/ The Terrible Twos is amongst one of the most massive misnomers in the popular Western lexicon.

5/ You always feel better after a cry.

6/ It's okay to feel sad after you are referred to as "Ma'am" by a teenager at the supermarket.

7/ People who make the conscious choice NOT to have children are amongst the most evolved on our planet.

8/ Puking is your body doing what it does best: getting rid of shit you shouldn't have in it. (It aint' pretty but it's kinda beautiful, too, when you really think about it).

9/ The human body should and will continue to astound you, if you pay attention.

10/ Flying dreams are our sub-conscious telling us we are doing everything right.