Monday, January 4, 2010

Things I Have Actually Said as a Parent....Really.

bad haircut
Originally uploaded by sadbear
When I was young and ideological, I made a vow to myself that there would be phrases that I would never say as parent. Shut the damn door! We aren't heating the Great Outdoors, was definitely one of them. I think you need to go to your room and really think about what you just said, was another.

Never, however, did I think I would say things to my kids that would make my younger ideological self say, "Huh?!" Here is a sampling:

1. You can vacuum her hair but not her lips.

2. Don't put pancakes on your face. Please.

3. Yes. You have to wear pants to school, son.

4. Yes, if you are good ALL of the time you can use bad words.

5. Give the gun to Aunt Barbara please, dear.

6. Is that the haircut you wanted to give yourself?

7. No, we can't operate on the cat ourselves, okay?

Let this be a lesson to all of y'all who are desperately trying to preserve your ideologies. Pointless, really.

1 comment:

  1. LOVE the vacuum. I assumed it was the cat! One Jeremy said: "Please stop eating the house".