Catcher in the Rye

Catcher in the Rye
Originally uploaded by chowmeyow

The very first book for adults that I ever read was the 1980's bestseller, Scruples, by Judith Krantz. I was 12 years old and the only reason that the librarian let me take it out was because I lied and told her that my mom asked me to bring it home. She believed me. I went home and over the next week, completely ignored my math homework and stayed up way past my bedtime reading about the sordid antics of a an illegitimate girl-woman who wreaks havoc on the lives of the 3 women she believes MAY or MAY NOT have kept her from her glorious past. It was steamy, badly written and completely over my head and I could NOT get enough.

What followed in the months to follow was a series of bad bestsellers that kept me bleary-eyed and utterly entertained - Stephen King, Danielle Steele, Lawrence Saunders. If there was an air-brushed picture of a temptress on the cover or a play on the word knife in the title, it was in my book bag faster than a fat kid on a Smartie.

Then, my sister brought home a book that she was being "forced" to read for school. She lamented the task to my father over dinner. He implored her to read it stating, emphatically, that it was one of the best pieces of American literature of the 20th century. My interest was piqued.

That night, I crept furtively into her room to take a look. The book was smaller than the ones I'd come to know over the past few months, brittle to the touch - a paperback - and its pages smelled of dust. Where was the picture on the cover? The play on words for a title? The author photo? How could this be a masterpiece, I thought as I smuggled it under my shirt and headed towards my room to examine it more closely.

By midnight of that night, my life had changed.

Today, the reclusive author of that work of art - one other greatest of the last century - J.D. Salinger, died at his home in Cornish, NH. Tonight, as a tribute, I am going to climb into bed and read that book from cover to cover in an effort to remind myself that literature - great literature - can come in the plainest of packages.

Sunglasses

092706: another pair of sunglasses
Originally uploaded by kate*

I just returned from the sunny Caribbean and my thoughts turn to one thing: sunglasses. Why, you may ask? Let me expound:

I've never worn or liked unglasses. Never. I hate having something obstructing my eyes from the sun in the warm months. Hate the sensation of plastic making its sweaty presence on my face. Except for this week.

Every time I set a book on my lap and went about the task of devouring a book I was stymied. I couldn't get more than 45 minutes in a row going before having to take a break. Why does this keep happening, I asked Tim? Why can't I get my book on? He kindly put his book down and said sagely, "Cuz you don't have sunglasses, my darling. Like I do. Like everyone on this beach does." Then he smiled at me, lifted his book towards his smug, sunglass covered face and carried on in the task that I so jealously wanted to participate in.

And that is why, intraweb, this week I will be heading to see my friendly, neighborhood optometrist, Krissy Klass (Book her now, people! Spots are filling up fast) to order sunglasses. The biggest, most beautiful, most expensive sunglasses that they carry.

And I will send Tim the bill.

Daily Smile

One of my favorite blog sites is The Sartorialist (http://thesartorialist.blogspot.com) It is a fabulous site whose sole mission is to capture the true essence of street style. It is inspirational and aspirational all at once, and on days like today - when the world seems a little mad - it can provide a much needed smile. Some days it's an "Oh, no! You didn't!" type of smile, while on other days, it's a smile like this one:

Isn't she sweet?

It makes me want to go out and get a gamine cut. Except that I'm a 155 pound, 5' 9" inch black lady so.....

Check it out when you get the chance.

In other unrelated business, I am heading away from the intraweb towards a place with tiki huts and pool boys. I intend on reading, sleeping and eating. In that order. See you in a week!

What Have YOU Learned from HGTV?

HGTV_2075
Originally uploaded by CO Coccia

During the holidays, HGTV ran a bunch of marathons of their more popular shows and like a dog nesting patiently under the dining room table, my big yap lapped up every morsel that dropped onto the carpet beneath. Sarah's House? Watched it. Pure Design? Bring it! Location, Location, Location? Watched it, watched it, watched it.

So what did I learn from ingesting all of this design porn?

1. If you want to sell a house you need to depersonalize the crap out of your home.

2. When designing a "space" you need to add personal items. In order to make it more...you.

3. Contrasting patterns are the way to go this season.

4. Contrasting patterns are sooooo 2009.

5. You can't buy a house without getting it inspected first.

6. If you wait around for a house inspection, you may lose your dream property.

7. High heeled boots are appropriate footware for the job site.

8. Inappropriate footware on the job site can lead to certain injury.

9. Kristie and Phil are NOT married. They just ACT like they are.

10. Mike Holmes. Gay or not gay? I can't decide.

Confused? Try watching it for a week.

Things I Have Actually Said as a Parent....Really.

bad haircut
Originally uploaded by sadbear

When I was young and ideological, I made a vow to myself that there would be phrases that I would never say as parent. Shut the damn door! We aren't heating the Great Outdoors, was definitely one of them. I think you need to go to your room and really think about what you just said, was another.

Never, however, did I think I would say things to my kids that would make my younger ideological self say, "Huh?!" Here is a sampling:

1. You can vacuum her hair but not her lips.

2. Don't put pancakes on your face. Please.

3. Yes. You have to wear pants to school, son.

4. Yes, if you are good ALL of the time you can use bad words.

5. Give the gun to Aunt Barbara please, dear.

6. Is that the haircut you wanted to give yourself?

7. No, we can't operate on the cat ourselves, okay?

Let this be a lesson to all of y'all who are desperately trying to preserve your ideologies. Pointless, really.