Friday, June 24, 2011

Am I Alone, People?

monkey eats popcorn by gilesbooth
monkey eats popcorn, a photo by gilesbooth on Flickr.

Last week, my son and I ditched one of his after-school activities so that we might get started on our "Summer Must See Movies" list. A ++ parenting, non? As we sat in the darkened theatre and waded through the super-lame previews that kick start most summer (and winter, for that matter) films, it dawned on me that there was only one thing I've always found annoying about the movie- watching experience. Popcorn. Specifically, the amplified sound of popcorn being chewed.

An informal poll of several of my peer-group, however, garnered slightly distressing result. Are you kidding, Francis, was the common refrain? Popcorn is the best part of the going to the movies! You have a thing against popcorn, said another? For real? It was obvious that I was alone in my hatred.

It wasn't the first time, either. I have discovered that there a more than a few areas in which my observations do not jibe with those of the gen pop. Like my use of the term gen pop, for instance. Here are a few more:

- I despise the way magicians dress.

- I think hand sanitizers are pointless.

- Pretzels should never be eaten alone. They need the rest of the Party Mix.

- Every time I see James Cameron I have to supress the urge not to bust the television

- I still enjoy Woody Allen films

- I don't find The Three Stooges funny

Just wanted to let you all know.


  1. LOL and Wow. Since this is still here, long after my last visit (I have been MIA because my Big Mac needs a repair and your blog is bookmarked on this one), I feel compelled to go:

    1. I never thought about the way they dress. What is it about the way they dress that bothers you? I am curious.

    2. I agree with you about hand sanitizers except when I eat out and don't feel like traipsing to the ladies room. When used properly they are effective.

    3. I am not a pretzel fan. I make my calories count.

    4. What did James Cameron do to you?

    5. I have never liked Woody Allen or his movies. I don't like child molesters in general.

    6. The Three Stooges made me uptight when I was a kid. I always worried about who would clean up the messes. I thought Moe was mean and abusive. I always worried that Larry would end up as bald as Curley. Schemp scared me. He reminded me of a tired Hitler with bags under his eyes. I thought he might be Hitler in disguise. That meant he escaped and didn't really die in a bunker. Now I watch the Stooges when I can't sleep. JC says "we watched the Stooges when we were kids. "We're adults now." Well, maybe I am finally able to be a kid.

    7. About the popcorn thing? I stopped going to movies about 5 years ago. The teens behind me kept farting. Babies screamed. People talked. People always kick or bump the back of my seat. People block the screen when they stand. (SIGH) Staying home and waiting for HBO or dvds sounded much less nerve wracking.

    Thanks for this. Hope you post again real soon.

  2. Limner- your observations are as pithy and astute as always. Hopefully, I can draw on your movie house stoppage anecdote the next time I am in the theatre and trying suppress the urge to bolt. Then a teenager will break wind and I will finally find the courage to make a move. I will have you to thank for that.....