The beginning of this year has proven to be less than stellar and so in an attempt not to spiral downwards, I have been going out of my way to see the world in a more positive light. The best way I've found to turn the beat around (because the old way of putting food and booze on it is just NOT working) is to eavesdrop on conversations. Here is a particular favorite from last week.
The scene opens at a dentist's office. I am here to schedule a routine cleaning. There is a woman beside me filling out paperwork. I peek over and notice that it a consent form of some kind. I pretend not to be rudely reading another person's private form. Awkward.
Lady with Form: Uh. Are you taking some of my jaw and putting it somewhere else in my jaw?
Receptionist: Excuse me?
LwF: (pointing to a line on the form) Where do you get the bone for the bone grafting?
Receptionist: Oh! It’s a pre-treated crushed bone. Sort of like sand we use to fill the space.
LwF: Is it human bone?
Receptionist: I believe its cadaver.
LwF: So, human?
Receptionist: No, it’s cadaver. It’s animal bone.
LwF: Doesn’t cadaver mean “dead human body?”
Receptionist: (pauses) No, I’m pretty sure cadaver can mean animal, too. (pauses to ponder this horrible thought and then turns to me) Cadaver means animal, too, right?
Me: Honey. Keep me out of this.
Epilogue
In the end, the receptionist asked the doctor, who confirmed that it was, indeed, dead-person sand they were packing into the Lady with the Form's jaw and not crushed up animal. This made me feel uncomfortable, and then deeply grateful.
Sheesh. Don't breathe a sigh of relief if you're contemplating having cadaver bone grafts done. Did you read about the bone used from unhealthy sources? Seems some unscrupulous funeral home employees used bone and tissue from bodies infected with HIV, cancer and AIDS. A made-for-tv show did an episode about it.
ReplyDeleteHoly. Crap. Is nothing sacred?
ReplyDelete