Eavesdropping....Again.

scared @ dentist
Originally uploaded by natashalcd

The beginning of this year has proven to be less than stellar and so in an attempt not to spiral downwards, I have been going out of my way to see the world in a more positive light. The best way I've found to turn the beat around (because the old way of putting food and booze on it is just NOT working) is to eavesdrop on conversations. Here is a particular favorite from last week.

The scene opens at a dentist's office. I am here to schedule a routine cleaning. There is a woman beside me filling out paperwork. I peek over and notice that it a consent form of some kind. I pretend not to be rudely reading another person's private form. Awkward.

Lady with Form: Uh. Are you taking some of my jaw and putting it somewhere else in my jaw?
Receptionist: Excuse me?
LwF: (pointing to a line on the form) Where do you get the bone for the bone grafting?
Receptionist: Oh! It’s a pre-treated crushed bone. Sort of like sand we use to fill the space.
LwF: Is it human bone?
Receptionist: I believe its cadaver.
LwF: So, human?
Receptionist: No, it’s cadaver. It’s animal bone.
LwF: Doesn’t cadaver mean “dead human body?”
Receptionist: (pauses) No, I’m pretty sure cadaver can mean animal, too. (pauses to ponder this horrible thought and then turns to me) Cadaver means animal, too, right?
Me: Honey. Keep me out of this.

Epilogue

In the end, the receptionist asked the doctor, who confirmed that it was, indeed, dead-person sand they were packing into the Lady with the Form's jaw and not crushed up animal. This made me feel uncomfortable, and then deeply grateful.

Kid Talk

Every Thursday morning from 9 AM until just before the lunch bell, I participate in a french language reading program at my children's school. Aside from it being a wonderfully rich and rewarding experience personally, it is also a great way for me to observe the children (my own included) in their natural habitat. Children will show you who they are if you pay close enough attention and because I am an adult, they often forget that I am even in the room about 10 seconds after my presence is acknowledged. This is when my needy, childish wounded-child side is most put out and my selfish, self-interested writer side is best served.

That's where you come in, dear reader.

Here are few excerpts from some overhead (okay, eavesdropped) conversations.

Convo #1

Girl #1: How come we have to read these books?

Girl #2: So that our parents can feel good about making us learn French all day.

Girl #1: Yeah. I thought so.

Convo #2

Boy #1: I am going to Colorado Springs next week.

Boy #2: How far is that from Florida.

Boy #1 (sagely): About 2 Nintendo Games away.

Boy #2: Right. Why are you going there?

Boy #1: My dad has a conference call. (pause) He's the President of the United States

This is the part where I butt in like an interrupting cow because I can take it no longer.

Me: So your dad's Barack Obama, huh?

Boy #1 (without missing a beat) Yup.

Me. Tell him I said, Hey.

Boy #1: I will. (pause) Does he know you?